Abstract
This blog post explores my graduate school experiences in the wake of my graduation. For those who don’t know, my name is Kelsey Rocha and I just completed my PhD in Educational Psychology at the University of California, Riverside. My hope is that this blog post can serve as an informative piece for those curious about the graduate school process (or my graduate school process, in particular) in addition to being a record of my accomplishments that I can look back on. The body of this blog post details the happenings leading up to my enrollment in my graduate program in the introduction, the process of my particular program in the methods section, and my reflections on the process in the discussion section. I have chosen to write this blog post in the format of an academic journal article (sans academic tone) because… creativity. So, without further rambling, I hope you enjoy reading my graduate school memoir.
Introduction
In order to fully situate my graduate school experiences, it seems necessary to explain what initially led me to pursue a graduate degree – my “origin story” so to speak. As my graduation of my undergraduate degree inched nearer and nearer, I began to contemplate what was next for me. Ultimately, I realized that my Bachelors of Science (B.S.) in Psychology was not going to set me up for the career in research that I wanted to pursue. And I’d be lying if I didn’t mention that my “graduate school aspirations” weren’t also motivated by my fear of entering the workforce. By no means was I scared of having a job – I had multiple part time jobs while pursuing my undergraduate degree – rather, my fears were centered around having a “job” (as opposed to a career) and getting comfortable with that and never pursuing my ultimate career goals because of the difficulty with going back to school after entering the workforce. I had a little over a year of experience working in a Psychology research lab and I was fairly certain that I wanted a career where I could continue engaging in research. Further, I knew my research interests were centered more in the education field – engaging in work aimed at advancing equity in education was my ultimate goal. So, I pulled the trigger and applied to one graduate program, at the same University where I completed my undergraduate degree. There were many reasons I chose to do this and ultimately I have no regrets over this decision.
In the summer of 2018 I received notice that I had been accepted into the Master of Arts program in the Educational Psychology concentration at the University of California, Riverside. I felt relieved to have *something* lined up, to continue advancing myself forward towards my career goals; though, looking back I had no concept of what it would actually take to reach my career goals. I naively began my graduate school education in the Fall of 2018. Within the first three weeks of starting classes, it was brought to my attention (through my coursework) that a Masters degree would not be sufficient for going into most research careers. Upon discovering this and discussing my options with my faculty advisor, I came to the conclusion that I should apply into the PhD in Educational Psychology program and make sure to submit my application by the fellowship consideration deadline. One thing I knew for certain was that I did not want to have to take out loans to continue my education; thus, the only way I would be able to pursue my PhD was if I was able to secure fellowship funding. Fortunately, I was accepted into the program and offered a fellowship that would cover the cost of my education.
I officially became a doctoral student in the Fall of 2019. And through the course of this blog post I hope to share my experience, highlight some of my reflections, and provide an update of where my life is headed next.
Methods
The total time I spent in graduate school was five academic years. To give a general overview of how my program progressed over time, I spent the first two academic years taking classes full time, the third and fourth years of my program I took a few classes but spent a majority of my time conducting research, and my fifth year was entirely devoted to conducting research and writing my dissertation. Starting in my second year, I began conducting research (while simultaneously taking classes) so that I could write my masters’ thesis. Completing my masters’ thesis was a checkpoint milestone, as I secured the first graduate degree I set out to attain – but I knew I had the behemoth of a dissertation to complete in order to finish graduate school and obtain my PhD.
In order to complete my masters’ thesis, I essentially needed to complete the full cycle of a research project under close supervision by my advisor. With the help of my advisor, I sought to study the impact of gestures (movements of the hands) on mathematical equivalence learning in second grade classrooms. I chose to study this topic because prior research conducted in laboratories/in one-on-one settings indicated that gestures were incredibly helpful in aiding students’ learning of mathematical equivalence; however, it was not known if this technique was useful in classroom settings. Ultimately my study did not replicate the findings from the other studies; however, I did successfully design a research project, execute all steps of data collection and analysis, and write a full report of my findings. Additionally, my masters’ thesis re-directed the scope of the research I saw myself conducting, as I learned about the challenges of navigating research taking place in schools. To cut down on a very lengthy explanation, it is VERY difficult to conduct research in schools because of ethics concerns for students (who are mostly minors that require their guardians’ permission to participate in research studies) and logistics. I was able to overcome these challenges to complete the research for my masters’ thesis (by the skin of my teeth); however, I knew that I wanted my dissertation research to be less of an uphill battle.
Little did I know, a new challenge for conducting research in education (that I could not have foreseen) was brewing. The COVID-19 Pandemic. As you can probably imagine, trying to conduct any type of research with students/teachers/anyone involved in schools became increasingly difficult when most schools abruptly shut down and switched to remote learning. Fortunately, I had already realized that I wanted the scope of my research to shift from being student-centered, to teacher-centered. And teachers were still somewhat accessible, even while working remotely. And, in another turn of luck, my advisor and I had dipped our toes in the water of conducting research with teachers. Specifically, we had previously conducted a survey study wherein we explored the relationships between teachers’ spatial skills, spatial anxiety and their propensity to use spatial techniques while teaching. To elaborate for those who are unfamiliar with this topic, spatial skills are a cognitive set of skills that we use while dealing with real or imagined objects and the spaces they inhabit (for example, you use your spatial skills while driving/parking a car, putting together a puzzle, packing a suitcase, etc.). Much prior research indicates that these skills are highly connected to success in STEM learning. Thus, helping students to develop strong spatial skills is critical for their success in STEM. And looking into what factors impact a teachers’ preparation to facilitate this type of development in their students serves to impact the greatest number of students’ STEM learning. The results of this study indicate that teachers’ who have greater spatial skills use more spatial strategies while teaching.
In the height of the pandemic, we decided to follow up on this study, knowing that we could make our survey accessible online for teachers to complete while we all worked remotely. So that is what we did. And ultimately, this set the precedent for how the study I conducted for my dissertation would take place. Because the follow up study was very similar to the first study, I’ll gloss over it. Just know that this study was completed and out of it we published a paper (the first where I was the first author – a notable accomplishment in academic writing).
And then began the journey of completing my dissertation. During my fourth year, I spent much time preparing to begin my dissertation. The first barrier was passing my “oral exam”/dissertation proposal. Basically, at this stage, I had to prepare a document and a presentation describing and justifying the research I would conduct for my dissertation project. These materials were submitted to a committee of five faculty members for approval. Keep in mind that the expectation is that you are developing as an independent researcher. Thus, it is pivotal to show that you have an understanding of the basic principles of research methodology and you know how to apply this knowledge to crafting a research project that will contribute novel information to your field. I designed about four research projects prior to the research project that I actually proceeded with. The project I designed sought to build upon the prior studies that I completed with the teachers through the online study, where I examined the relationships between teachers’ spatial skills and their preference for using strategies known to help students develop spatial skills – in the specific population of elementary school teachers. I anxiously attempted my dissertation proposal at the end of my fourth year, where I fielded countless questions about the research project I designed but ultimately passed (photo shown below of me preparing for this presentation).
Almost immediately after passing and receiving the approval from my committee, I began executing my research plan. Over the summer of 2022, I managed to program the online survey I planned to use to collect data and received ethics board approval to proceed with my study. Throughout the Fall quarter of 2022 I collected data, having elementary school teacher complete my survey online (shoutout to those teachers who agreed to participate – it was a LENGTHY survey). I then spent the remainder of this past academic year analyzing my data and writing my dissertation manuscript. I then prepared to defend my dissertation, which is essentially a follow-up to the dissertation proposal/oral exam. The dissertation defense is also seen as a nerve-wracking experience, as it is necessary to report the findings of the completed study and defend the scholarship of the project. I was less nervous about this presentation than I was when I had to present my proposal; though, I was certainly anxious. On the morning of May 30th, 2023 I presented my dissertation defense to my committee and after the presentation I was separated from the group while they deliberated on my fate (see the selfie I took during this time below). And contrary to how I felt when this protocol was administered during my proposal presentation, I felt more confident in the work I presented – a real victory moment for me. Once returning to the group, they excitedly announced their decision that I had passed and was officially Dr. Kelsey Rocha. Thinking back on this moment now (about two weeks later) brings tears of joy and pride to my eyes.
Discussion
Since successfully defending my dissertation, I have attended my graduation ceremony and been officially hooded (see picture below) and submitted the final version of my dissertation manuscript. The “Kelsey gets a PhD Chapter” of my life has been finished. My graduate school experiences have had a bigger impact on me than just training me to be an academic researcher, though. I know this chapter of my life will affect all of the chapters to come. The experiences I had throughout this chapter have contributed to my personal growth and the view I possess of the world. In the paragraphs to follow, I will explain a few of these contributions and my reflections about the ways graduate school has impacted me.
When I consider how I view the world now (as opposed to how I viewed it before my graduate studies) I think the biggest differences lie in my new tendencies to ask questions and consider multiple perspectives/sources of information. I have an adept knowledge about how research is conducted and how science (or the scientific method) can be used to inform (or misinform) stances on important issues. In today’s day and age we are faced with an abundance of information – of which, only some is true and/or relevant. I feel myself consistently evaluating the truth to the information I take in. I formulate my opinion on all topics based on reason, logic and evidence. Basically, I see the world in a more scientific way. My beliefs and values are informed more by facts than feelings.
In line with viewing the world scientifically, my graduate studies further instilled in me a dedication to being a lifelong learner. In search for the truths about the world and humanity, science (or scientists) never falter in discovering more. As each new piece of humanity’s biggest questions gets answered, more questions are uncovered. In a similar fashion, as I learn more (about my area of specialty or my personal interests), I develop more questions and realize there is so much more to be learned. This is a quality I have come to appreciate within myself, as I believe people who never stop learning are the most admirable people.
Which brings me to another (related) aspect of graduate school that has shaped me. I have found that I enjoy teaching. As a graduate student I had many opportunities to serve as a teaching assistant or associate instructor for various classes within my department. Once I got past my “stage fright”, I discovered that I really enjoy imparting my knowledge on to others. I most enjoy teaching students who have a thirst for knowledge and who want to make a positive impact on others. There is something that is incredibly fulfilling knowing that the information that I am teaching (related mostly to either education or psychology) will help my students to make a difference in others lives – as most of the students I work with aspire to work in the education field. When I first began college as an undergraduate, I had no real sense of what I wanted to do for a career but I knew I wanted to help people. When I teach, I feel as though I am more directly fulfilling this goal than when I conduct research.
A final aspect of my being that has been impacted by my graduate school experiences is my stance on planning and flexibility. Prior to starting graduate school I was a very organized and “type a” person. I wanted to plan every aspect of my life and for that plan to go exactly as I expected it to. And when the plan didn’t come to fruition as I expected, or something unexpected would come up, I would flounder. Graduate school taught me that having a plan is great, but that I should treat the plan as a suggestion and expect that nothing will actually follow that plan. Perhaps this is somewhat due to the fact that I attended graduate school during a global pandemic, or because I just reached a certain age where I realized that no one’s plans go exactly as they want. Regardless, I have become less concerned with planning and more focused on adapting/being flexible. I have been shown time and time again that everything will work out as it is supposed to – or, as the tattoo that I got when I was 20 says, “this too shall pass”. I definitely didn’t possess this wisdom when I got the tattoo, but now it resonates with me even more.
Now, you may be wondering, “what is next for you, Kelsey?”. The short answer is that I am still looking for the specifics. While I wish I wasn’t honing in on my “everything will work out as it is supposed to” mentality, I don’t have a permanent job lined up so that is the mentality that I have to focus on. Over the summer months, I will be teaching some classes at UC Riverside while also working as a research consultant with a company that focuses on equitable interventions for elementary school aged children, their teachers and their families. I feel content with getting to do the two things that I enjoy so thoroughly – albeit, through two part time jobs. My hope is to continue putting applications out for education research associate positions and college teaching positions. So if you know of someone who is hiring for a similar position, hit me up. And on a more personal level, the next things to come for me include learning how to ride a motorcycle, celebrating my fiancé’s graduation from her masters’ program (peep the picture of her celebrating my graduation below), beginning to plan our wedding and hopefully spending a lot of time with friends and family.
A Space for Mild Adulting 